Characters:
Minister (a wedding couple is not necessary; the Minister can just talk to the audience)
Costumes:
None
Props:
None
Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today on this server to join this man and this woman in holy wedlock. Marriage is an honorable state, worthy of its own blog, not to be entered into without first reading the Terms and Privacy Policy.
If there be any logged in here with good reason that these two should not be joined together, let him post now, or forever hold his tweets.
Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in virus or in reboot, til death do you crash?
Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? For better or worse, in worm or in trojan, til spam do you part?
Repeat after me: I, loverboy3@yahoo.com, take you for my wedded wife. I ceritfy that I have read and understood the vows as stated.
Repeat after me: I, junebride@hotmail.com, take you for my wedded husband. Click 'I agree.'
In as much as loverboy3 and junebride have networked together before this company of friends and contacts, and have pledged their faith – and declared their unity by giving and receiving a ringtone, they are now joined.
By the power vested in me by the FCC and this website, I pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status. And what God has joined together, let no man unfriend.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you for the first time in public Mr. and Mrs. wedded_bliss@msn.com. Hashtag: just married.
(exit)
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