CAN DO: A Tale of Wartime Rationing
by Linda Campanella

Characters:
He
She

Costumes:
none needed

Props:
3 cans with labels removed, can opener, bowls, utensils

She: Hi, Honey, how was work today?

He: Oh, not bad. But I'm starving. What's for dinner?

She: Well, you know how it is with rationing and everything...

He: Yes...

She: And how you say we need to stick to our budget...

He: Oh, no, not potato soup without the potatoes again!

She: Not tonight. I got us a whole 3-course meal for two for less than a dollar.

He: A dollar?! You haven't been dumpster diving again, have you?

She: Of course not, don't be silly.

He: Then where can you get a 3-course meal for two for under a dollar?

She: That's the best part! The store was having a special today on cans without labels. Only ten cents a can!

He: Cans without labels? Who sells cans without labels?

She: Sometimes the labels fall off, and they can't sell them at the regular price. So they discount them. Isn't that great?

He: I guess it is. So, what are we having?

She: Well, that's the thing. I don't know yet. Without the labels, nobody knows what's in the cans. But whatever it is, it's dinner.

He: This I gotta see.

She: It'll be fun. Like a surprise. Here's the first can. This will be our appetizer.

He: I hope it's pearl onions. They're my favorite.

She: I hope it's fruit cocktail. I love fruit cocktail.

He: As long as it's not olives. You know how I hate olives.

She: (pretends to open can) And it looks like...olives.

He: Swell.

She: Don't worry, honey. That's just the first course. For the second, I'm opening two cans so we can have a side dish with our main course.

He: I can't wait to see this.

She: So tonight we'll be having...(opens can)...tomato paste with a side of...(opens can)...tomato paste.

He: Boy, that'll really stick to your ribs.

She: I'm sorry, honey, I didn't know what was inside.

He: I know, I know, it's not your fault. Now that we've finished the main course, what's next.

She: The best part: dessert! I had some flour, so I made a pie crust, and poured in the last 3 cans before you came home. I call it Mystery Pie.

He: Okay, let's get it over with. (tastes pie) Hey, this is really good. In fact, it's delicious! I don't know what's in it, but I love it!

She: Oh, there goes the phone.

He: You stay put, honey, I'll get it.(exits)

She: (tastes pie) Hmmm...vanilla pudding...shredded coconut, and...shoe polish.(calls offstage) Honey, you can have the rest of the pie, I'm going on a diet.

(exits)

copyright 2023-2024 by Linda Campanella and Whatsits Galore

Return to Skits & Bits